


Hell Hath No Fury Like a Fangirl Scorned

by sweet_witch_hella_knight



Series: All Weirdos Have Stories Too [4]
Category: That Guy with the Glasses/Channel Awesome
Genre: Assassins & Hitmen, First Meetings, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 09:29:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14615307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweet_witch_hella_knight/pseuds/sweet_witch_hella_knight
Summary: My take on how Hyper Fangirl met her assassin.





	Hell Hath No Fury Like a Fangirl Scorned

**Author's Note:**

> i really love benny and hyper's relationship and i wanted to have their first meeting be something meaningful. i also wanted to explain my headcanon about hyper's first (and before devil boner, only) boyfriend. so i killed two birds (or emotionally abusive boyfriends) with one stone!
> 
> i don't know if i got chris's assholeishness across enough but he did pretty much date hyper out of pity and to fuel his own ego and didn't care about her as a person, and when she started getting too attached and invasive, he lashed out at her. his constant putting down of her interests is a contributor to her "love means liking the same things" deal because they really didn't have much in common besides both being artists in a way. he's basically a pretentious egocentric misogynistic asshole and i might write something else with him to make that clear.

_2:45pm, Naperville._ It was 2:43, and Benny was still in Geneva, washing the blood of a brony off his hands. Fandom wars got fucking intense sometimes. But he wasn't one to be late, especially for a brand new customer. Thankfully, he had his ways.  
  
2:44, he was in front of his new client's house in Naperville. He hit the doorbell with his elbow (in case the house was later scanned for prints). The door opened to a disheveled young man with glasses and acne all over his face- not quite what he envisioned his client to look like by their description, but Benny wasn't in a position to judge. "Oh my god, I'm finally being hired by the M.I.B.!" the guy squealed.  
  
Before Benny could debunk that assumption for the umpteenth time, somebody else pushed her way to the door. "Go away, Mac, this is for me," she snapped at the man before turning to Benny. "So you're the guy?" she said with a lowered voice. Benny nodded. "Awesome," she replied, ushering him in.  
  
  
"So you would be, uh..." He checked his files, squinting a bit to make sure he got this right. "Hyper Fangirl?"  
"Mm-hmm," Hyper nodded.  
Benny noticed her roommate was still in the living room, and asked her quietly, "You want to do something about him, in case he finds out?" he said, raising his gun.  
"No, he's playing _League_ , he won't notice anything for hours," Hyper assured him. She glared at Mac. "Trust me, I'll tell you when I want him out of my hair." Benny shrugged.  
  
Once they got to her room, Hyper locked the door, sat at her desk, and popped open her laptop. "Thank you for coming. I tried for ages to get a good assassin off of the dark web, but never thought until recently to just go on Craigslist."  
"Nobody in their right mind wants to explore Craigslist anymore," Benny explained. "It's better to hide out there than the dark web at this point."  
  
Hyper nodded as she tapped away on her laptop, eventually finding the folder she needed. Clicking on it displayed several photos of a lanky college student with awfully long bangs. In several photos he was standing with Hyper, trying her best to be affectionate but always looking strained, while he never seemed to acknowledge her. "This is your guy," she said with venom in her voice. "His name is Christian Allis and he broke my heart."  
  
Benny nodded. "Classic motivation."  
  
Hyper looked back at Benny. "I heard you were the best assassin for ladies unlucky in love. I need to get him off my mind and the best way to do that is to get him out of this world."  
"Are you willing to tell me what he did to you? Hit you, touched you, taped over your _Bachelor_ recordings?"  
  
Hyper's face scrunched up in anguish. "He just hated me! He didn't wanna to be seen with me, hated everything I drew and wrote and yelled at me for no reason, and then we got into this really big fight and he pushed me and then he threw me out of his apartment and..." She got up from her desk and snatched up a stuffed Spider-Man doll, which seemed to be missing its arms. "He ruined my Spidey doll," she said, looking ready to cry.  
  
Benny sighed. He was intrigued by belligerent sexual tension, but far too many cases he'd seen had taken it too far, to a point of toxicity where they wanted to see each other bleed. That was considerably _less_ sexy to Benny.  
  
"Slide me his address," he asked Hyper.  
Hyper had it already written on a piece of paper, and handed it to him quickly. "Hey, um, is it okay if I go with you?"  
Benny wrinkled his brow. "You know people usually hire assassins so they don't have to go dirty themselves with murder, right? You need to be highly trained in stealth to avoid law enforcement coming after you."  
  
Hyper put her hands up. "No, no, trust me, I'm super stealthy. It's just that I _really_ want the last thing Chris sees to be my face." She started grinning with pleasure. "I want him to die knowing I have the power over him, so he knows that leaving me was a deadly mistake." She capped off her maniacal fantasy with a giggle that even creeped Benny out.  
  
This woman was probably nuts. But working for nuts made Benny's job more interesting, so he was excited for this gig. "Fine, you can join me." Hyper clapped. "Just don't mess with the actual murder scene."  
"Understood! But can I add a few more details about how to kill him?"  
"Sure. But it's gonna cost extra."  
"Oh, trust me." Hyper smiled wickedly. "It's all worth it."  
  
  
  
Chris lived an hour away by car, which meant Benny got there in about 75 seconds. Hyper was a bit shaken up by how quick Benny's shortcuts were, but thrilled about what they were going to do. "Give me sixty seconds, then you can follow. I'll take my shot when you give me the sign." Hyper nodded and watched Benny go to work.  
  
The apartment entry was locked with a keypad, but with a screwdriver, cell phone, three LEGO bricks and an acorn, Benny managed to override the system and gain access. He glanced at the paper with Chris's apartment number, and made his way there in no time. He picked the lock and then he was in.  
  
Chris's apartment was a little neater than Hyper's house, but just barely. There were books and papers strewn around the couch, where the kid with the emo bangs was typing away at his computer. He was so focused on his little project that he didn't notice Benny until he jumped out from behind the coffee table and shot Chris's laptop. Chris's mouth fell open and he jumped up shouting, "Hey, what the f-"  
  
Before Chris could finish, Chris has a bullet through his balls.  
  
Chris fell to the ground, clutching his groin in pain. Benny towered over him and placed his foot on his chest. Chris looked up, too pained to speak but clearly confused and angry. Then Hyper strutted in, smirking wickedly over her ex-boyfriend.  
  
"You?" Chris groaned up at Hyper. "I thought I told you to get your psychotic ass out of my life."  
  
"Yeah, but I figured it would be better to get your life out of my psychotic ass," Hyper replied nonchalantly. She crouched down to Chris's face. "So do you regret everything yet? The cheating, the hitting, defiling my property, making fun of my fanfic?"  
  
"No!" Chris pushed Hyper off of him. "You're a fucking clingy freak with no life and I dodged a bullet by throwing you out."  
  
Being pushed away like that sent a wave of anxiety down Hyper's spine, as if she was being overpowered once again. Then she remembered, _oh yeah, I have the power now._ She stepped back, not wanting to get splattered with too much blood. "Yeah, let's see how well you can dodge a bullet." She gave Benny a thumbs up and Benny took the shot, right into Chris's smart mouth.  
  
Hyper was stunned, not having seen a murder like this in years and never this close up, but enthralled. She took out her phone and readied it for a photo, because hot damn, she wanted to remember this moment, but Benny pushed her arm down and gestured for them to leave before they got in trouble.

  
  
After the murder, Hyper turned from a powerful woman scorned to the squeeing fangirl she really was, even if she was fangirling over Benny's murder capabilities. "I can't believe it! You actually killed him!"  
  
"It was pretty easy," Benny coolly said. "He didn't notice a thing until I made the first shot."  
  
"Yeah, he gets so wrapped up in his own writings and stuff. He didn't pay me much attention either, unless I was telling him how great he was." She fiddled with her scarf, depressed at the memory. "That and he kept saying I was annoying him."  
  
Benny placed his hand on Hyper's shoulder. He didn't like getting too attached to his clients, but it was always best to comfort them afterwards, especially when they actually _saw_ the event go down. "Don't worry. You'll never bother each other again."  
  
"Thanks," Hyper said with a smile. "So what do we do now? Do you wanna get lunch or something?"  
"Sorry. I have other appointments."  
"Oh. What about later?"  
"You can call me anytime you need another kill. I'm officially your assassin now." He looked Hyper in her eyes. "And you can't replace me easily. We're bound to each other."  
"Like a marriage?"  
Benny paused at the awkward comparison. "Yes. But also not at all."  
  
Hyper grabbed Benny's hand and squeezed it hard. "So you get to be mine and you don't ever get to leave me then?"  
Giving her a weird look, Benny let go of Hyper's hand. "Those are the rules, yes."  
Hyper excitedly clutched her fists to her chest and grinned. "That's so cool! We're gonna be good friends, I just know it." She gave Benny a big hug.  
He wanted to just run off without acknowledging the hug, because he wasn't into clients getting this close to him. But the last man who emotionally neglected her was now bleeding all over his manuscripts, so he rubbed her back and shot her a half smile before rushing to his next job.  
  
Benny wondered when he would see her again. She was creepy as hell.  
And in a weird way, it was kind of cute.


End file.
